You lay in bed for hours replaying every bittersweet memory and just feel so lost. As your mind wonders and the weeks go by, you catch yourself a bit angry over the ways you too were neglected in this relationship you treasure(d). You look in the mirror and can’t ever recognize that person looking back at you. Who am I? What do I do now? You think only for a split second about the reflection man/woman before you get the yearning back in your gut…and so the roller coaster continues.
Firstly, I am sorry you are hurting. Pain that is internal always seemed so much worse for me that external. As a child, I preferred whippings over stern talks. My feelings got hurt so easily because below the surface of a trouble-making little girl, was a big hearted one! Now, I don’t say this lightly as I was the one who dared the boys to step on bees only to not follow through with my end of returning the plunge onto that Bumble Bee. I would tilt my head back and laugh until tears some days. I always had something new up my sleeve.So, I get the sterotype of men being less emotional, closed off, and strong. See, people who did not truly know me, may still say that about who I am. So, fellas, this goes for you just as equally as the ladies here:
You’ve lost something that is huge. You had once seen a future with this person and now the relationship is closing. Maybe you still want it to work even so it hurts not being able to figure a way to fix it…No matter the details, it is okay to grieve! (Just don’t live in that place of grief).
A little depression during the inital phases as the shock is wearing off, is normal. Depression to the deepness of thinking suicide or there is nothing left to go on for, that is a bit deeper and you should seek help immediately. (1-800-273-TALK)
Okay, so here we go with our first projects—–
This is great for any seperation,divorce, or break-up..
Write a “Goodbye Letter”—Now, wait a second. Let me give details before you jump the gun! A goodbye letter to the spouse you were,the traditions you had together, and the other people affected by the closing chapter. No matter if reconcilation occurs or not, people are mourning because they knew you as one; a pair. “Jessie and Tabby” are how they referred to you as a couple when inviting you to a dinner. So— “Goodbye Letter” is a great place to start in healing. Now, don’t rush through this project as it’s an important one! Take some time. Do it when you are feeling ready to. Then carry on so you can get project # 2.
To be Continued……#DIVORCE #BREAKUP #SEPERATION #TORTUREDSOULS
Sign up for the upcoming Marriage and Relationship Bootcamp With the Tortured Soul Coach . You’ll get in depth information and step by step advice on repairing relationships, letting go when it’s right, and how to make good relationships great!