Divorce, Mental health, Self love-Self Worth-Rediscovery

A Letter To The One’s Who Broke Me…

A letter to the ones who broke me–

I could never be “good enough” when you had me as “only yours”. It didn’t matter that I seen how amazing I am. It didn’t matter that I’m beautiful or that I love so deeply. It didn’t matter to you..You never accepted my loyalty and returned the blessing to me. Your heart wasn’t open and you never let me in. You see, you were already broken so you let me attempt to love you while you knowingly or unknowingly took that effort for granted. You didn’t recognize and appreciate what beauty was within your reach–someone who would of given her all to make you feel wanted and loved…Someone so capable of loving even the broken because I seen the good inside of you. Someone who seen your potential and was clinging to what she knew you could be. See that was the problem with me, I wasn’t with a person who I adored as he was before me anymore. I was with a person I once knew or someone I knew could be great. I was unknowingly trying to save someone who only could save himself .You took the opportunity to betray me—my trust, my loyalty, my hopes in you, and my love. You made a joke out of me because everyone knew what you’d inevitably do…Sadly if I’m honest, I knew this even more than anyone else. I predicted your every move…I just wanted to be proven wrong for once in my life. I wanted that person who showed me believing in people wasn’t a bad thing,to be you. I’ve moved forward in my life. .Not as in a partner but with my dreams of me and you. I realize I shouldn’t of dreamed to begin with and should of dealt with here and now. I am working on that within myself for my future. I do not know if I’ll ever be af a point I’ll feel good enough in a friendship to let another person in. I am guarded for a reason. I know how big my heart is and if I let another see that, they have power to hurt me (again).My desire for only good for you, left me broken and never have I again been the same. It broke up a family and left me alone. You showed me, people giving what I do, is a rarity. You choose to let me hit the pavement and that crushed me inside. I gave my heart to someone who was more than okay destroying me. I lost who I was, my belief in others good side, my hopes , my dreams, and even almost my life. One thing I know , deep within,is one of these days you’ll regret what you did if ever you had a bit of the goodness that I seen. It is in that moment, you’ll realize your brokenness broke me. As you sit unhappy and alone,you’ll realize I truly had only the best intentions but now I’ve moved on. I truly cared and I truly had love for you. In that moment, you’ll long to feel what I gave so freely, from anyone. I think it’s then as you feel a sting to your heart, you’ll be left with two clear choices. You can continue breaking others and yourself even more. Self destruction can be your life long route and emptiness inside your reward…Or you can choose to fix you. You can choose to be the difference in this cold world. I’m not saying it is easy because it does hurt like hell. You can be a better version of you like I believed in. You can give love and be loyal, as I once was giving to you!

I hope if you give me nothing else —-

You choose number 2. I hope one day you give love and loyalty. You show others they are enough. You appreciate what is good. I pray you give beauty in the ugliness…

Yeah, I pray you’ll be loved despite it all..I want that love deep within given and returned for you!

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