I’m just a woman who has experienced pain deeper than I’d like to admit. I’m an amazing catch with poor choices in the men I date. I’m complex and I’m guarded yet I’m also capable of love so deep,most people never ever get in life. I recognize the rare hearts like my own. The ones most pass up because all they see is the surface.
If you asked ten people who’ve known me for a year or more, to describe me, each would describe someone who sounds like another person (10 people ). This isn’t because I’m different or that I’m not true to me. It’s actually because I am. I also have grown a lot and I have a past full of misguided judgements.
I only tell you this because you are judged right now too. See, you haven’t fully healed and you haven’t been focused on fixing yourself. You come off one way then another and those around you often take it as you are full of games ; not being real ….
Truth? I see deeper…
You’ve been through some traumatic things in your existence and they are not dealt with. You’ve refused to be honest with yourself and you haven’t even realized your current situation…
You’ve stumbled across a good man.
He’s not perfect and he too has a past. Yet, he wants to be a better man for you!
Now, I bet you asked why. Am I right?
Do you see the issue arising with that question alone? Why would he want to be the best man he can for you? Well, he finds you of value and doesn’t judge your spotty track record of broken hearts. He believes you are worth it and he’s shown this by taking you back when you’ve cheated and when you ran away …
Sometimes, the very things and people we run from, are who or what we should be running to!
A broken man or woman is often perceived by others as heartless and incapable of emotions or least lacking them.
Truth is, a broken person is simply a man or woman not healed whom has experienced extreme trauma.
& The broken person trying to guard their heart, often plows through like a tornado destructing everyone and everything along the path.
What am I saying? You’re broken and you are a tornado right now…
The one person you care about and cares for you, is the one you are set to destroy most .
You don’t even see the big picture….
You do deserve love.
You need to get that love is only felt if we take risks.
To fix ourselves is best gift we give when are destructive and hurt everyone who cares for us…
I say we …
I’ve been destructive..
I’m also a very Tortured Soul who is broken … But, I’m healing beautifully…I want this for you.
I also want you not to destroy a great man because of your pain. That pain isn’t on him. He doesn’t deserve this pain you are inflicting on him as ya try to push him far away…
You want to push him away because he scares you. You haven’t healed and you don’t see you as he does. You think he’s wrong…Well, that’s your choice… You can continue hurting him and breaking him down or choose to become a woman deserving of that man by actions , words, and thoughts..
We can all be bad.
We can all be good.
But, first task?
Seek counseling and start a self love journey for what do ya loose?
Right now, you are loosing a great man because you aren’t being great.
You are being downright ugly.
What do ya miss out on by seeing what you are capable of?
No matter your bravery to seek help or not—
Stop hurting him!
If you won’t be someone I can be happy for him to be with, let him go.
But know this, it will be something you regret one day, letting him go…
And of course if ya don’t fix yourself you’ll continue with this cycle that leads you to destroy yourself …the past isn’t currently destroying you, you are. Own it. Fix it or continue with this cycle away from him! So ya brave enough to face your own sh**?
I hope . ..
For you & him.