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What is a Tortured Soul?

I’m a thirty something year old woman with a secretive hopeless romantic side..Yet, I also am jaded ….and I’m diagnosed with an attachment disorder, which basically states I’m distant and avoidant. This doesn’t just apply to dating but also family & friends . People without this battle, probably have no idea the lengths I take not to run away. I’m complex and often misunderstood. I’m bipolar so my emotions can seem more intense to another than I mean them to be. I have been puzzled by men whom thought I was practically in love with them while I seen things as a little crush where I hadn’t decided if I really like them or just was attracted. Both of these things, make me a tortured soul. I battle myself as I tend to loose interest easily in men early on. Meanwhile , I am a fighter as life has made me be so I beat relationships into the ground trying. Often, this leads to guys thinking they’ve got a hold on me that I simply am obsessed with them or in love…Yet, I’m battling if I want them at all.


Misunderstood. ..

Tortured Soul…

Have you ever deeply wanted something yet it seemed you self destruct?

See, that’s how it feels being a tortured soul.

I’ve been in relationships for years yet never in love.

I felt if only they’d treat me right …

If only they’d try ….

I’d fall…

I wanted the family life more than anything …Love,marriage,and children sounded like perfection for me . Yet, I have come to a point, I don’t think I’ll have those things and that’s okay.

It’s not because I’m unworthy…

It’s because how I’m wired…and how I am perceived verses what I really think or feel…

It truly is torture.

Life sometimes makes us tortured souls…the events …misunderstandings…

It’s not a horrible thing in my eyes. It just means that it takes great depth to get me…but if someone does, they see my beauty beyond the confusion.

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