Dating Life to Married Lovers

Divorce Proof Your Marriage before” I do.” Ask these questions before the big day!

Obviously any commitment isn’t to be taken lightly. A marriage is no exception. It’s the ultimate promise to another person. It’s making a promise before God and loved ones to love this person through the worst and best. Of course, I’d adventure to say that almost nobody goes into marriage with the plan to divorce. Yet, our divorce rate is half and rising. It makes marrying someone so very scary for the ones single or dating. I believe there is often a lacking of preparation and being on the same page. I advise you to be sure you talk the big discussions and come to compromises when needed before ever going forward with marriage.

We probably all know couples who we admire for their long marriages which seem healthy and they seem happy still. Yet, I bet all will say it’s not always been easy.

I caution you before you take this wrongly , if you are mistreated and cheated on in marriage then that isn’t what I’m covering here. God, wants each of us loved and treated well. He doesn’t want you unhappy ,beaten, and cheated on. Pray on that if this is what landed you here ….

Back on topic, alot of people have this idea of marriage and it seems like bliss …then comes schedules colliding, bills piling,and the other stress of life.

Money is a huge issue for people and lot of arguments are money related.

  1. Who should be in charge of budgeting ?
  2. Who pays the bills?
  3. Will one or both work?
  4. Anyone staying at home with kids?
  5. How are credit issues affecting the future once United?
  6. Debts?
  7. Who will move?
  8. Selling of homes involved ?
  9. Savings is important. How will you save up?
  10. Share banking accounts or not?
  11. How will household and groceries be paid?
  12. Is the expenses fair if both work?
  13. What percentage of each person’s take home is used per month?
  14. Is there spending money ?
  15. Emergency funds?
  16. What costly plans or goals do each have? How would this work?
  17. Anyone owe child support and will this be both paying or one?
  18. Any properties covered by prenup?
  19. Will there be a prenup?
  20. Retirement and 401k savings for both being accounted for?
  21. School debts?
  22. Health insurance ?
  23. What other expenses can you plan on?
  24. How will it be handled?
  25. Who mails payments in? One or both ?
  26. Vacations ?
  27. Hobbies?
  28. Vehicles ?
  29. Other???

Religions or belief in a higher power is another big argument especially when kids come into the scene.

  1. Church a important part?
  2. Beliefs vary?
  3. How will kids be raised?
  4. Public or private school?
  5. Circumcision?
  6. How many kids?
  7. Abortion beliefs?
  8. Birth control?
  9. If you want kids how long until trying ?
  10. How many?
  11. If Fertility issues will there be other options?
  12. If so what and how?
  13. How will this be covered?
  14. Any hereditary things to talk about before kids? Cancer common

These are just to start off on the bigger discussions. What other questions may you find important to ask before marriage?

  1. Should kids be spanked?
  2. How should they be disciplined?
  3. Should you make chores and at what age?
  4. Sleep in bed with you as a baby or not?
  5. How often do you expect sex?
  6. Do you plan to work or be a stay at home parent?
  7. Cursing in front of kids okay or not?
  8. How often should there be date nights ?
  9. How often are babysitters okay?
  10. Who can be considered to babysit?
  11. How much pay ?
  12. Furthering any education in your plans?
  13. Five year plan?
  14. Ten?
  15. Twenty?
  16. What age you want to retire?
  17. How should you fight fair?
  18. How do you feel about boundaries with friends and family?
  19. Should you feel free to talk to people about relationship problems ?
  20. Who if certain people ?
  21. Views on divorce?
  22. Separation?
  23. Sleeping in the same bed?
  24. Couch sleeping okay ever?
  25. Time apart?
  26. Together?
  27. What is cheating for you?
  28. Online cheating?
  29. Porn?
  30. Fantasies to do and not ok ones conversation is important…
  31. Ideas to try and vacations wanted…
  32. Honeymoon…
  33. House guest?
  34. How often see in laws?
  35. Holidays?
  36. Others discipling your kids?
  37. Boundaries with in laws
  38. Siblings dos and don’t
  39. Feelings on boundaries with ex’s
  40. Same sex and opp sex friends and hanging out
  41. What is your love language
  42. Needs
  43. What don’t you want me to change
  44. Where can I improve to love you better
  45. How do you feel loved by me
  46. Pet peeves
  47. Favorite memories
  48. Goals not addressed
  49. Roles of makes and females
  50. Household chores should be divided how or one person
  51. Outdoor chores

What other questions have you thought of along the way? Ponder questions and add additional details below….What’s missing?

If a blended family, this adds more to discuss…..

  1. Boundaries for ex’s that are parents
  2. Visits..
  3. Parenting views for step..
  4. Forseen issues from kids or ex’s?
  5. Who pays for sports?
  6. Colleges?
  7. Saving for expenses?
  8. Healthcare?
  9. Discipling your kids verses a partners
  10. Different views on parenting?
  11. Concerns for favorites?
  12. What should the kids call the step parent?
  13. Daddy daughter or son days a thing?
  14. Mommy son or daughter days?
  15. Any no ways for roles? Example hubby won’t bath girls
  16. Who needs to be softer or harder parenting?
  17. Any other questions or concerns
  18. What will you do if you get cheated on
  19. What if someone flirts with you that you know well
  20. How do you expect your partner to react when approached being hit on .
  21. Social media views on liking pics and comments ok or not
  22. Status online
  23. Any passwords exchanged?
  24. Off limits on people or topics?
  25. Webcam models?
  26. Nudes exchanged or sent to

Please let me know if you think up more or /and if these helped….

Good look preparing….Until next time, TSC !

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